Unlikely lines from a romantic novel | Mock the Week – BBC

Unlikely lines from a romantic novel I know I promised you fellatio for your
birthday, she said but they didn’t have any so I got some vermicelli Ever since our night
of passion I’ve burned for you she said Desire, he asked no cystitis, she said Turn the light off, she said What about all the boats, said the
lighthouse keepers I’m not the most sexually minded man
George told her and I know that the average man supposedly thinks about sex
every dick-sucking six seconds Be mine Had she heard right? No, he said B-minus this essay is shit Anastasia Steele stood in front of Christian Grey dressed as a mummy Oh, I’m sorry she said, I thought you said
you were into bandage She’d never forget his first words to her Cheer up love might never happen He gasped as her hair cascaded down well it was February who waxes in winter Carry me upstairs, she said I’d rather not said the lighthouse keeper Simon sidled across the nightclub floor and used the one chat-up line he knew always worked did it hurt when you fell
from heaven LUCIFER! He was literally perfect in every way as
far as she could tell from the dick-pic He took off her top and did what makes
all the girls go crazy I wish I knew how to quit you Said Michael honking another massive line of cocaine Our relationship is on the rocks that’s inevitable said the lighthouse keeper She felt the strangers hands slide round
from behind and gently cup her breasts She a double 38G Barbra,
we’re gunna need the mega cups I am with child, she said Yeah but you’re not actually a child so it still fall fair He stood before her almost naked and slowly reached down No, she whispered leave your socks on Molly was stunned as she reached into
the bucket of popcorn next to her and grasped a big handful of her
boyfriends penis After all she had gone to the cinema alone At that moment she knew with
butterflies in her stomach that she was banned from the London Zoo butterfly house

91 Replies to “Unlikely lines from a romantic novel | Mock the Week – BBC

  1. Wonder how Jo Brand would feel if she had acid thrown in her face ?!?! …. her disgusting comment made a joke of the innocent victims who have suffered from this cowardly life changing crime .. shame on her & the BBC & Sky for supporting her ..

  2. This is gold! And Milton ALWAYS makes me laugh! Thank you for sharing and here's hoping you post more scenes from MtW! 😂👍

  3. "Well, it wasn't all that good was it? I mean, I've had worse. It's just, I don't really see this going anywhere, do you?"

  4. What is going on? A full clip without the BBCs usual leftwing BS. I bet they were dying to through a Trump insult in there somewhere

  5. when you find out there is not a romantic novel about a lighthouse keeper:
    reality is often disappointing

  6. ''Come runs lets runaway together he said. She said that's a great idea but the police will eventually find us and you will become a convicted paedophile''

  7. ''He took her out to dinner. He wasn't sure whether or not to ask her the ultimate question that he'd been dying to ask her for months. He finally plucked up the courage and said ''Would you like to try anal?''

  8. The thumbnail looks like a family game of Charades that Glen wasn't expecting, but Kerry and Ed are completely deaf to their Dad's fucked-up guesses.

  9. At first Letitia didn't seem that impressed with the Lighthouse. However, the lighthouse keeper flicked a switch and her face just lit up.

  10. After she saw how erect it was she couldn't wait to get her mouth around it, she started licking all around beginning at the bottom and when she reached the top OH she could feel the burning 'who new the bulb at the top of the lighthouse got so hot'

  11. Fury raged inside her like the storm that lashed at e windows. "How can you leave me like this?" She screamed.
    "I must check the on the light…"

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