The Count of Monte Cristo – Thug Notes Summary and Analysis

Yo what it do? This week we gettin EVEN with
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Edmond Dantes got it made. 1. Soon
he gonna start runnin his own ship like a boss, and 2. he bout to tie the knot with
his bangin hunny Mercedes. But whenever a playa ballin relentless, you can bet they
gonna be a pack of haters tryna trip up his game. Danglars be jealous of his career blowin
up, Fernand eye-fu**in Mercedes’ sweet ass on the reg, and Caderousse just hatin cuz
haters gonna hate. So these three lil bitches write a
letter claimin Edmond a traitor, even though our true blue sailor as straight as they come.
Even the law man Villefort takes a big ol’ dump on Edmond. Since Villefort’s daddy
an anti-royalists snitch, he gotta make sure errybody think he on the up and up. So Edmund
gets thrown in prison with no trial. While he doin dat hard time, Edmond
meets a prisoner named Faria. He learns Edmond real good and tells him that there be a swoel
fortune stashed away on the island of Monte Cristo. And when they scott free, dem playas
gonna be sittin FAT. Thing is, old man Faria snuffs it before errythings all kristal and
benzes; so Edmond hides in his body- bad, escapes dat trap, and flows over to Monte
Criso Island. Time to make it rain, son! Later, Edmond finds out that girl
Mercedes married Fernand after his disappearance. SKANK! With all dat fast money in tow, Edmond buys
himself a new name, does a few good deeds on the DL, and vows
to use the rest of dat paper to fu** some haters UP. STREET JUSTICE! First up in Caderrouse whose
dumbass tries to rob Monte Cristo. sh** goes south when his greedy ass gets shanked. One
down. Hater numba 2 is Fernand. By
slangin dat cash, Da Count digs up enough dirt to WRECK Fernand and his family. Seems
ol Ferny got hood rich by betraying royalty and sellin two peeps in to slavery. Along
with all of high society, Mercedes and his boy Albert chunk deuce to Daddy F and and
dat chump ices himself. Another down.. Next on the sh**list is Villefort.
Word is that Villefort’s biddy got beef with some of her family, so da Count MC teaches
her how to slay homies by slippin some poision in they joose. As she droppin em one by one,
MC not only gets this sucka called our in front of errybody, but also gets him to convince
his wife to KILL HERSELF. COLD BLOODED. When Villefort drops from top dawg to bottom bitch,
fool loses his mind. One to go. They ain’t nothin Danglars love
more than his paper. So that’s exactly what the Count fu**s with. After jackin up his cashflow, the Count sicks
the mob on Danglars’s ass and robs him of every single dime he got. But it ain’t all dat ruthless,
couz. Our boy helps out Maximillian, the son of an old homie. He be hollerin at Villefort’s
daughter and the count steps in to hook a brotha up. After dat, the Count rides off
in to the sunset with a hunny named Haydee all up on his nuts. What a motherfu**in pimp. Peep this motif, blood. This book
off da heezy with the number of storm and dark cloud images bein slung up in hurr. Like
when Edmond finds out he bout to get fu**ed by Villefort, before he meets Faria up in
the clink, right after Fernand gets put in his place, I could go on playa! After gettin
wrecked by them three haters, a storm be brewin in our boy’s soul. And who can blame him? Like a bolt
of lightning, Edmond’s righteous livin’ falls to sh** in a muthafu**in FLASH. And
Edmond ain’t the only one. Check what Villefort say about his daddy. Bad sh** can come at any time. And
when it do, it don’t give no warning, it just happens from one second to da next. Matter of fact, my day one brutha
Herodotus layin dat same game in his Histories: But happiness is too good for deez haterz.
A split-second of pain when dat hot lead goes through their dome ain’t enough. Edmond
don’t wanna just ghost them fools- he gotta make feel the pain he been feelin. But you gotz to be careful when you
comin out dat hard. After Edmond peeps Villefort’s wife and son layin stiff, he start tweakin
and realize he mighta taken this whole revenge game a little too far. Cuz like Franz say; Make sure yo drafts go down smooth
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