Reagan Myers – “Depression Is Funny Like That”

This week I sat in an autozone parking lot and cried for 10 minutes straight because I couldn’t change a headlight Which sounds like a lead up to a terrible stand-up routine right one where the joke is always on me like, haha I ate half a bag of pretzel and Em’s at 11:30 in the morning in bed Or I’ve watched the pilot of Gossip Girl ten times in the past two weeks because I keep falling asleep Halfway through because being sad is a goddamn joke sometimes My headlight went out my first thought was seems right I couldn’t change it by myself because I’d have to take off a whole bumper or something I thought of course or I wish I was dead Being this kind of sad is funny that way no inconvenience is a minor inconvenience It’s all the end of the world or might as well be my brain is dramatic like that. Depression is a silent film A monologue shot underwater Depression is sulking because I won’t talk to it anymore by which I mean about it There are some days when I am so sad I don’t remember what it’s like not to be like when you have a bad cold and you forget how to breathe through your nose and you’re so sure you’ll never breathe through your Nose again, and I’m so sure I will never feel joy again Except when you have a cold you can call and sick to work and people tell you to get well soon and there’s a whole soup genre dedicated to your well-being I can’t call in sad to work can’t go to the grocery store and go to the sad aisle Which would only have like already stale popcorn and tea your best friend swears is good for you. So Sometimes all I can do is laugh. If I don’t there might be nothing left There’s a crack in my bathtub in the shape of the Platte River And I know this because I sit on the floor of my shower so often it’s become a permanent imprint in my thigh I’m here because I’ve been sad since graduation not this one the one before that or maybe I have a bad cold Or maybe it’s both but the cold makes the most sense for sympathy purposes If I get out I have to be a person again Have to put on clothes put lotion on my legs a bowl of cereal at least Take care of this terrible body that refuses to take care of me back I’m so tired of talking about my depression as someone else a ghost that haunts me and I am afraid of the seance Afraid of what it might want from me. My depression doesn’t ask for much But when it does it’s something I cannot give and that’s the joke. It’s just me asking for something I cannot give I asked to come back to my body and it’s only me saying no When people ask me how I am they might as well be asking where I’ve gone. I’m driving down a dirt road No headlights when it curves I will not know just drive on into the field my own voice playing on the radio Telling me there is no place for me here

50 Replies to “Reagan Myers – “Depression Is Funny Like That”

  1. What is the most annoying thing is when someone goes “im here for you” and when you need them they aren’t and they never will be

  2. No worries for depression
    Here is a solid way for your way out;
    Olive oil and tomatoes
    Grene chili and 5 minutes
    3 eggs and 3 minutes
    A girl, sunny day and fresh bread.

    Day light, summer and some water.

    “ ı dont know the others but breakfeast must be related with hapiness”

  3. I felt this way too fucking much as I listen to this from my bed, on a day I am “supposed” to be at work but had to tell my boss I got food poisoning instead because my heart can’t handle it today

  4. I’m dealing with anxiety and depression and it’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever experienced my mind mentally hurts from putting up with it so much I can feel my brai throbbing from all the problems and loneliness I push aside

  5. Hi Keep doing what you do!! its good to share how we feel, think! its good to let it all out!! your a good poet! I live in the uk! Ive just started out again! I hope one day to go to an open mic some day! your doing a good job!! 😊

  6. Dear Mental Health, I blame a lot of things on you… I'm not really sure why. I don't see the point. No one believes you exist.

  7. When she said "like when you have a bad cold and cant breath through your nose and your so sure you never will again". I felt that. Cus a have a really stuffed up nose right now 😂😂😂😂

  8. So I’m a teenage girl. I can’t have depression cause if I say how I feel people laugh and say same. I can’t be sad. I have to love it when people talk about each other. I have to love it when people hate on the friends they’ve had their entire lives. I have to love all the hate in the world. A week ago I laughed my real laugh. A laugh that I haven’t heard since I started middle school. For one day I was happy. On day in three years. But if I say anything people will just laugh and say same.

  9. Honestly people now a days don't know what depression is to other people…
    My friend has depression and in the 5th grade she started cutting herself everyone in that grade found out and you wanna know what other people called her they called her a attention seeker and the thing is that's not ok they don't know what she is going through… 2 years later it has been getting better for her…
    But little did she know I was going through the same thing and I hid it from her I didn't want to tell her in the 5th grade cuz I didn't want her to worry about me when she was going through things to but I started doing the same thing as she did…. I started cutting myself and I started starving myself cuz I thought my body size was bad because of all the girls in my school they are all skinny and perfect… When she found out I was cutting myself she stopped talking to me for a while…. So I let her have her space she came back but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person that felt lonely with a crowd of people.
    When my parents found out I stopped we eating my dad yelled at me and told me to stop doing stupid shit and stop being so damn stupid yeah i know he is looking after me but that still hurt. I feel like a disappointment when I get bad grades even though I tried so hard but yet my siblings get perfect grade without trying.

  10. I dont know whats worse. Feeling lost in the chaos of your sadness, so desperate to feel happy again you feel like you wanna tear your heart out. Or, so numb that you wish logic would stop telling you to keep caring, losing your mind, bit by bit, and not knowing when you became so.. alien. so disconnected from the world, you start not being able to even remember what you had for breakfast, not feeling happy or sad when everyone else is.

  11. There are so many hurt people in the comments. And then I realized that this video is two years old already and it makes me want to ask all the people if they're okay.

  12. “afraid of what it might want from me, my depression doesn’t ask for much but when it does it’s something i cannot give”

    oh mood

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