I Unfollowed My “Dream”

hello, hi, welcome. so remember all those
times that I was like “I’m not always going to talk about books I’m going to
start making videos about not books” and then I proceeded to just not make
anything? that was fun! wasn’t it? I also said I wasn’t going to talk about that
anymore and so I’m not going to talk about it, that’s it. but I was just you know
gonna make a joke because that’s how I deal with things apparently. okay. so I
have this idea for this video, right before VidCon, I was like, you know, really
like high on life and like thinking about things. I was like oh my gosh, yeah,
I should talk about this because I’m sure this has happened to other people
and we can all talk about it, it’ll be great! I’m really glad that I waited
though until after VidCon, you know, just because I had to. because like, being
around my friends and talking to them and just spending time with them, you
know, these all these people that we all have different varying degrees of like
success. so it’s like some of us, you know, do youtube full-time, not me, and some of
us don’t, me-obviously. um but it’s interesting because it just kind of
really made me think about what I’m going to talk about today! so someone I
have been following since basically getting on this website just to even
watch videos is Charlie McDonnell and a few months ago… I don’t know how long ago
it was it, could have been like several months ago, he made a video called
unfollowing my dreams or something like that, where he talked about how he got to
write a book and he never thought he wanted to write a book. it was never
something he aspired to but turns out he really enjoyed it and it was really cool
to like discover that you like this thing that you never thought you would
even care about. ever since I watched that video I’ve been thinking about
unfollowing my own dreams but kind of in a different context. not necessarily
trying things I’ve never tried before, which I have been thinking about, but
also about like realizing that maybe the things you think you want to do aren’t
the things you want to do, maybe it’s just because you have some other
motivation. that was fun! wasn’t it? you see what happens when I don’t talk about
books, it’s great! so if you’ve been following me for a while you probably
saw like my college advice video that I made where I talked about like you know
being in theatre and like kind of doing
the acting thing and like all this other stuff and honestly recently it’s come to
my realization that I actually don’t want to do that, and let me just tell you
about it! I think I talked about in that video that throughout my life like
even as like a young child I had no concept of like a career or like
aspirations, all I really wanted to do when I was a kid I wanted to like
either be a doctor an astronaut or a paleontologist. which, if I had to pick
one of those now, I would pick up, you know, the digging up the dinosaur bones
because that sounds like the most me. the other two, like terrifying, no thank
you. like I changed my major in college more
than I have ever heard of anybody else changing it. I mean I dropped out halfway
through because I was, you know, in elementary education and it was so scary.
you know so it’s like I’ve never had like a concrete thing, but like a few
years ago I was like “oh I think I want to be an actor” that’s what I want to do.
this really just comes down to, and it’s really embarrassing kind of to admit
this, but I don’t think I ever actually wanted to. I kind of just wanted the
attention. which, you know, that’s always good it’s good that I didn’t gonna break
my butt-break your butt?- going to LA and like doing all these things just to
realize that I don’t-I don’t particularly like, you know, acting. it’s
fun, I’ll tell you a story! the way I came to this conclusion was this past spring
a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to fill in a spot in like a local
production of South Pacific because one of the nurses had dropped out. she was like “it’s
a lot of fun! it’s no stress! like, all you got to do is like learn some songs that
you probably already kind of know, and do some dances which you’re really good at
picking up on so you’ll be fine.” I was like “singing? dancing on a stage? yes
please! that sounds great!” which I know that I like those things. I like singing
and dancing and performing, but do I like being a character? not as much. because
I had no lines in that play, and I’ve been in a play with lines, and I liked
singing and dancing and having no lines or a concrete character more than
I liked having a character, and character development and blah blah blah, all
that stuff. so like hmm… but the real kicker was that at the end, I was so tired,
but I’d only been doing this for like three weeks and I was like, I don’t want
to do another one! Wow that was exhausting! which everybody
else was like oh you should audition for the next one you should audition for
this and this and this. and I was like guys, I can’t! I can’t handle it! I just can’t do
it! I was like that was three weeks. how on earth did I ever think that I wanted
to do this like professionally? I have friends who are pursuing acting, they’re
always going. I don’t know how they do it. like, if you’re out there in like LA or
like Atlanta and you’re like pursuing acting, like good for you because that
sounds so hard. like I’m so proud of you. it was the weirdest feeling though when
I realized this I was like. I don’t think I actually want to act. I think I just…I
think I just wanted to be famous? and that’s a fun thing. I did know
this beforehand but I’ve always tried to like push it down you know like repress
it, is that whenever I’m like sad or I’m going through like a depressive episode
which does happen you know whatever, I start fantasizing about being like a
famous actress or you know whatever strikes my fancy that day.
I don’t fantasize about like developing a character and like I mean a little bit
maybe but it’s mostly like “wouldn’t it be fun to be on like friends and be on
the set and like have all these friends and do interviews and like press” that’s
not what it is Katie. That’s a different thing. so for me I was just
like oh yeah it’s definitely a thing, when I get sad and I feel trapped I want
people… want recognition! but then it comes-because I know that like people
are going to watch this that know me in real life that I’ve talked about this to
and they’re going to be like “okay so like what do you want to do?” and just to
save that conversation, I think I really just want to like focus on writing. I
haven’t written consistently since like going to Hawaii.
like because fun fact about me before I moved out there I used to like write all
the time. never finished anything, because that’s another thing I have, but I used
to do it all the time. and maybe not like a story, but like you know
bad poetry, some like bad songs that I have no way to put into music because I
can’t play any instruments. yeah you know that kind of stuff! but I’ve definitely
written short stories I’ve definitely like come up with a bajillion outlines
and it’s like, since I’ve been home I haven’t been doing a lot, I’m not going
to say I do it every day or anything, but I have been thinking about it, and doing
some, and it’s nice because that’s really what-I mean it’s so funny to me because
when I think about being an actor I want everyone to know me, but when I think
about being a writer I seriously contemplate if I ever get published, am I
even going to publish under my real name? because like writing is so like personal.
it’s like do I want my name Katie Strange, Katherine Strange would be the
name I would use probably, to be out there for everybody to see? I don’t know.
I guess I’ll see you when we see, but you know it’s weird I don’t know what that
says, haven’t really thought about it too much, but it’s an interesting thought. I
also just want to like keep making YouTube videos-which I didn’t know if I
wanted to do until-you know I always do this. every single year I feel like,I’m
like, “I don’t know what to do about YouTube! I don’t know what I’m gonna do!”
and then I go and I’m like, “I can’t leave! I can’t just go away!
I can’t just disappear!” which I do, but I don’t want to. so yeah I don’t know, but I
feel like I’ve talked enough. have you ever done this? like am i the only person
who’s ever thought that they wanted to do something and then realized that you
don’t want to do it but you actually want something else that’s a product of it?
surely I am not the only person. I know I’m not because that would be insane, to
be the only person who feels a feeling. that’s crazy. um okay but anyway I think
I’ve rambled enough and I don’t know, I just wanted to share that because I
thought it was an interesting concept. Un-realizing your dream… sometimes
you’re just like oh this is what I want, and sometimes you’re like, this isn’t
what I want and then you’re like thank god this is not what I want.
life so much easier without that hanging over my head. but anyway yeah
okay so I’m going to go and I will see you soon,
I will talk to you later, goodbye

93 Replies to “I Unfollowed My “Dream”

  1. I love this video so much. I'm turning 23 this year and I still haven't figured out what I want to do in life. A part of me is telling me that it's okay not to know and that I'm allowed to change my mind how many times I want, but the more rational part is like NOOO you need to make up your mind asap and the whole thing is giving me so much anxiety. But I'm glad you realized what you thought you wanted to do isn't something you'd actually enjoy, that's a step in the right direction 😊

  2. The ever changing what to do kaleidoscope. For eg. the well off it's fine. For the energetic go-getters, it's fine. For some others, well….

  3. I'm 25, and still not know what the hell to do with my life. HAHAHA funny story, not really. I will get there, eventually.
    I totally relate with your feelings.

  4. We are on the exact same page! Life keeps throwing curveballs at me and my mind keeps changing and it is the most frustrating thing! It's always nice to hear you're not alone.

  5. This is wonderful! At VidCon, I too was talking to a friend about the wild ride I've been on with school and my jobs and kind of deciding what I want my future to even be? And I'm 30 and I suppose I've found a thing but in my heart of hearts I always still wonder WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE A THING? CAN'T I KEEP CHANGING THINGS? Occasionally that thought makes me happy but mostly it scares the shit out of me. Anyhow, you are not the only one. Also, if you ever need a co-writer dial my number! I could be a writer! A co-writer for sure. Just, uh, bring some plots along.

  6. OMG! Every college student EVER!!! I also went through the wanting to be an actor (or at least a drama major) thing before realizing that I enjoyed callbacks and auditions far more than actually being in productions. Every horribly confused twenty-something thanks you for putting out this video.

  7. I can relate to the wanting fame thing. It is something that I have thought about and wanted my whole life. But it is just the fame and recognition that I am interested in, because there isn't really a career or path that I would really want to follow to get me there. I can't sing or act. I definitely don't want to be on a reality show. And then I start to really think about fame and I know it isn't really something I want, because nowadays so much negativity comes from fame. And yet, at the end of the day, I just want people to know who I am… So wanting to be famous, yeah, I definitely get it. You aren't alone. lol

  8. Lol I'm 24 and in the same boat. Don't know what I want to do, but I do know that I don't want to work retail ever again.

  9. You are definitely not alone in your feelings!!! I'm also in the mid-twenties confusion faze… I have a degree in Accounting… but I don't want to be an Accountant haha!

  10. I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH (surprise lol) i think my main problem is that i took that ron swanson quote "don't half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing" TOO SERIOUSLY. i've convinced myself that i cannot be both a successful serious author and also a youtuber who rants about sweet potatoes. i feel like i have to unfollow one dream to chase the other and it's a daily debate as to which one i'm dropping. ARE THEY MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE?? nah, probably not. but i can't seem to convince myself of that. #ANGST

  11. I feel this COMPLETELY. I always through I wanted to write and produce comedy for tv. I love comedy and tv and collaborative writing. In college I started doing extracurriculars to get production experience, and this past year I moved out to New York with an internship in comedy production. I loved the city, and the job was what I wanted it to be, but I pretty quickly realized I hated it. I didn't want to move back or admit it, because it was MY DREAM. But I found myself wanting to work as an student affairs advisor or administrator at a college, someone who works directly with students- I NEVER thought I wanted to do this! But now I'm out of the city, applying to graduate schools to start working towards the new goal. Life is weird, and unfollowing dreams is hard. You know you're not just "giving up," but explaining that to anyone is impossible.

  12. the honesty in this video is breathtaking. i feel like anyone can find at least one thing that resonates w them out of the things that you touched on. life is hard and complicated and we're all just figuring it out at our own pace. ily katie!!

  13. I totally agree with you, sometimes I​ don't know the society, family, friends just put way to much pressure and you just don't know what to do, or you think you liked something but realize it's not true

  14. I totally understand! I've stumbled my way through 26 years of life in which I've changed my mind multiple times. Now I've stumbled my way to an MFA degree and teach English at the local junior college. I've grown to enjoy teaching and it allows time to write, when I have the discipline to do it. I think what makes writing so alluring to me and, perhaps, you is that we can chase our other fleeting dreams through our imagination. Let's make a character who's an actor so that we can enjoy our idea of what acting is rather than the grind of work that it actually entails. Don't give up. Find a job you can manage, learn to love it, and explore life. Life, after all, is but one great adventure, right? Go explore it!

  15. this is honestly so refreshing to see!! sometimes it feels lonely to see everyone know exactly what they wanna do and for me to still be super uncertain, so thanks for this video 🙂

  16. I absolutely love how honest you are will your subscribers. You are such an inspiring youtuber even though you think otherwise. I love your videos and seeing you in other peoples videos

  17. Someone put it into words! I am constantly stressed about finding a career or being stuck at a job I don't like and it terrifies me.

  18. I honestly relate to this soooo much, especially right now. I start college in a few months, and I spent the last 13 years of my life thinking I wanted to be a doctor. But when I started signing up for classes, I realized that I don't want to be a doctor. But now I don't know what I want to do and if the things that are in the back of my mind that I think I want to do are actually possible. Ugh, life is difficult.

  19. I finished my freshman year of college and OH BOY was it a rollercoaster. Literally my entire life I've wanted to be a veterinarian, but within a month at school I realized how unrealistic that dream is for me. Letting go of that dream was so hard especially when people say shit like, "I've always felt like you are meant to be a vet." I thought that was the hardest part. Until I realized I needed to pick a new major (nursing), apply to the school of nursing (got rejected), and now have to try one more time before switching to another major. LIFE IS HARD but also first world problems? I don't know I'm just a stress ball.

  20. Charlie's video was so great, and it's one that I've thought about a lot since. I think it's hardest when people around you don't realize that you've changed and keep asking about that old passion, and you have no real answer to give them.

  21. Heyyyyy!!! You're back. I deal with things by making jokes too. Also, the sarcasm in this video is so real.

  22. I loved hearing you talk about this struggle that so many of us are feeling. I know I'm feeling this way for sure. I haven't changed my major in college but that's just out of fear of not being sure about anything… I'm about to graduate this December and I want to do so many things with myself, and at the same time I'm not sure what I want to focus my energy on. I'd hate to think that I'd waste my energy on one thing, and realize I don't actually want to do that thing in a few months when I could have been focusing on another thing the whole time.
    Again, I loved hearing you talk, vent, and be open about this topic because it seems to be very common. It's calmed my nerves a little for the moment. Thank you, Katie.

  23. I completely understand the acting thing. That profession, among probably anything else, requires the most commitment and thick skin than I think a lot of people realize. I'm not cut out for it, and I think it's good when we recognize these things.

    I decided a year into college to pursue filmmaking. Dumb decision, per many other people, but it's what I want to do, dammit (ya know?). Am I sure that's what I want to do for my entire life? I have no idea. But it's what I really want to do now. And to me, that's what matters. I think it's okay – healthy even – to realize what we really want and recognize that our dreams change. Good luck with writing! 😀

  24. I relate to you so much. I came to college thinking that I wanted to be a Film Director and 2 years later the only thing that I'm sure about life is that I want a cat.

  25. What do you write on? I'm 29, in high school I would write pirate books BY HAND Lmao. I have a typewriter now. It's extra sure, but I just can't write on a computer for some reason 🙁

  26. Have you thought of doing like freelance work or publishing zines? I feel like the first generation booktubers are all kinda going through that stage in life where you figure out how to make money while also enjoying it. And what's great about booktube is we can see many people that we relate to, going through similar things, and see that this stage in our lives is totally natural. 🙂

  27. I love these videos, when the youtubers seem like they have everything together it make me feel behind. I want to be indepedent financially and I want to work someplace that helps people and that is not motivated by money but i fear those together are unrealistic. The idea of working in an office or store makes me feel claustorphobic just thinking about it. The best two jobs i have ever had I didnt get paid for. 1. Taking care of cats in a shelter 2. chopping and then burning thorns and poision ivy at a summer camp! I also think we shouldn't pick just one thing for the rest of our lives i think one thing will work now and later something else will be better.

  28. Wow Katie I feel like this video is exactly what I've been going through the past couple of years. I'd always wanted to be an Elementary school teacher until I started taking education classes in college and realized I really didn't want to do that at all. Then I went to Yallwest and learned a bit about publishing and decided I wanted to be an editor instead. I've still got a long way to go but I feel much better now that I'm actually enjoying what I'm working towards

  29. i spent my whole high school time thinking i wanted to major in psych but when i came down to it i had ZERO passion for it and changed to a degree in publishing

  30. Katie, I love you. I relate to your experience on a spiritual level. When I was 12-15 years old, I had the same mindset as you when it comes to performing. I put a lot of effort into preparing and well not performing. Eventually, I realized that lifestyle wasn't for me. Thank you for making this video because honestly, a lot of these careers involve money. When we put money into studying something that we "want", we feel obligated to stick to it and see it through. It's disappointing sometimes to realize that hey "it isn't working". It feels like these endeavors are wasteful, and even now I'm still navigating and figuring out what I want when it comes to my major haha.

  31. I'm glad you're choosing to pursue what truly makes you happy. I recently had to change my major from nursing to sociology and after the initial period of crying for entire days, I feel so much better about my life. I only chose nursing bc I knew it was stable but it made me so anxious and depressed for almost 3 yrs. I still don't know what I'm gonna do with my degree but I'm​ strangely ok with that now.

  32. As an aspiring actress and is really pursuing it it is nice to get a different opinion! Great video Katie!

  33. KATIE WHY DIDN"T YOU JUST BECAME A DOCTOR? THAN YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THE REAL LIFE DOCTOR STRANGE😂 I always thought I wanted to be a journalist because I was always telling stories, making up stories, making up games and all that jazz. And I am a really curious person and I always want to know what's going on in the world & i love learning new things. but then I was studying it and I was like oh god no I don't want to do this so I took a gap year and I think I have found somethingelse I want to do. and i realised i love writing stories so I will do that on the sideline. haha hopefully you'll find something what you're really like

  34. This was so insightful!! I related to it so much, just all of it. You made a lot of sense in what you said, so don't worry about that 🙂

  35. I switched my major so many times before I finally settled. Just finished grad school and still not sure if I want to commit to a lifetime of what I selected…too much sitting inside at a desk, not enough sunshine. Was always drawn to voice acting, but it is a vicious world.

  36. I kind of know what you mean. I will admit, one of the only reasons I joined booktube was for some kind of recognition but then I learned to enjoy it, though it's very annoying when I don't get any views but that's another story. Haha. I also wanted to be an actor a few years ago and I did musical theatre and drama clubs, etc, but soon learned (though maybe only I thought this) that I wasn't very good, but I did enjoy doing the singing and acting anyway… Yknow. It's okay to change your mind on what you want to do, though sometimes it can feel a little unstabilising not knowing what to do. I discovered that I want to be a writer and publish and now that's my dream, though I wish I'd started when I was younger, but first to finish something I'm happy with. Lol. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. 🙂

  37. God, I feel this video so much! I used to post wayyyyy more often that I used to, but I've been in the middle of a "should I be a writer or should I be a doctor crisis" (not helped by the fact that I'm taking the Mcat today) but Idk, I feel like I should be able to do both? Or that both can get at my underling desire to help and know people?

  38. You are NOT the only person. I just turned 27 and this is so me, and I didn't even realize it until about 24/25. Oy.

  39. I relate to this but weirdly enough with my sorts I used to sports (athletics but also horse riding) and I loved the sports still do but i think the thing was I just wanted something that I was good at and find a place where I belonged and I didn't get those things since well I suck at sports xD and the people although mostly nice didn't share any of my other interests or we just didn't connect so I relate. And I'm graduating next year and I'm like DO NOT ASK ME WHAT I WANNA DO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR BREAKFAST so yay? Thank you for always uploading relatable and thought provoking videos! <3 <3

  40. I completely understand the "doing something you think you'd love, to find out you don't want to do that" 100%!! I started college as an animator to find out half way through my Sophomore year that I hate animating, but I still love the production of making movies, which is why I'm now a Film and Video major. I'm still trying to figure it out, but slowly getting closer. I try to keep in mind about getting a job that I would look forward to going to, that I don't actually consider a job because I actually enjoy it.

  41. It is so weird that we can go through our whole lives wanting something then to realize that it wasn't what we wanted after all. I do theatre too, it is exhausting, but that is kind of what I love about it? I love having the purpose of telling a story, much like an author does, so it is that that really connects me to my passion.

  42. I can relate to this so much! It's like someone put my struggle into words! I want to start writing again, but I can't seem to start. I have written a lot of fanfiction more than six years ago and I sometimes tried writing my own story, but it's so much easier to write about a world someone else has already fleshed out for you and I'm wondering why I can't push myself to write it. I can't help but think that maybe me writing fanfic is what I don't have to push myself for, but when it's original writing it's maybe just not my thing.

  43. by the time you're 30 there will be careers available that don't even exist today. keep your options open 🙂

  44. I relate to this so much! I do the same thing when I'm sad or something, I'll like imagine myself being on a talk show or doing press. And I understand the wanting recognition thing too, and I always feel bad about wanting attention but at the same time, everyone needs attention, we are social creatures. I switched colleges this year because I was going to an art school for film and realized that was totally NOT what I wanted to do, and now I'm studying history and still know that that passion could change too. And I've wanted to do so many jobs that I probably wouldn't actually enjoy, like I wanted to be an astrophysicist because I wanted to be like the people on The Big Bang Theory, and then I realized that that wasn't at all what being an astrophysicist is like! I don't know what the answer is but I'm confident than you and I will both find something!

  45. You are definitely not the only one. I'm currently going to college and I'm thinking about doing the thing since I wanted when I was a kid but I'm not sure if it's right for me. And I have other thoughts but I'm not sure if I like it because it's fun for me or I like the idea of it (such as being a singer just to be famous or being a book reviewer to fret free books) that sort of thing.

  46. I thought I wanted to be a biologist until I went to college for it. I'm hoping to go back for English and get into book editing. Scary/crazy as it seems I think I want to do copy editing.

  47. This video is pretty much the same thing you'd hear if my thoughts were on blast for everyone to hear. (not the acting thing but still.) Overthinking and decision making and overthinking my decision making is all that goes on in my head anymore. I think my biggest problem is romanticizing the things I want and then realizing that they don't work those ways in reality, then I get discouraged and don't know what I want to do with my life anymore.

  48. This video made me feel so much better because I have absolutely no idea what I wanna do and I feel like everybody else just knows what they're doing, so thank you for making this video!!

  49. I'm 25 and I'm about to FINISH my masters degree in freaking PHARMACY and guess what, I feel like I've completely fucked up my life, cause this isn't really what I wanna do with my life. (send help).

  50. Well, I liked that video Charlie made. When I got into university, I wanted to study Psychology real bad, I was set on it. But I didn't get in, there was some kind of bureaucratic mistake and I actually got into Sociology instead, which may not seem like a completely different thing but at least in Germany there's some real differences there. And I absolutely loved it and now I am preparing my PhD in Sociology and couldn't be happier. 😀 So I guess sometimes it's just about taking opportunities that might not seem like the original big dream but maybe are even better. 😀

  51. I relate to this.. I love studying literature and went to uni for it. Over the years I've thought about teaching, journalism, translation (all the usual suspects) but never settled. Then I got a part time job in retail in my final year and fell in love with the company, recently getting a promotion. I'd never say never to those other ideas and will maybe pursue teaching later in life, but sometimes you've got to accept that there are SO MANY paths to take and some of them don't present themselves from the beginning!

  52. OH MAN WHY DO I RELATE TO THIS SO DEEPLY??? I feel like I'm in a constant state of career vs dream vs other dream etc. I also worry because I took that enneagram test awhile back, and it told me that I focus too much on the ~idea~ of success vs actually focusing on the thing I'm passionate about, so now I'm like, "What AM I passionate about then??" Ugh struggles. But I loved that you talked about this! <3

  53. I relate! I got my degree and just graduated and I thought I wanted to do a specific thing with it. I had my mind set on it but I still had to complete an internship, so I picked something easy and thought it would be over quickly and I could move on. WELL turns out my internship is exactly what I need in my life and what I have been looking for. It's a great feeling and I can't wait to apply and make it my full time job.

  54. I thought it was really interesting when you said that you couldn't be the only one to think a thought. I've just never really considered how not one person can be the only one to think something.

  55. Ah man, interesting. I've always been interested in acting but my reasons are the complete opposite of yours. I love the idea of bringing a character and a story to life, to be apart of a different world and helping it come alive! The whole being famous, interviews, etc are the things I DO NOT look forward to. I mean, it would be nice to have my work recognized but to ever be famous enough where strangers would follow me around? No thank you. This makes me think that if I ever got a big role it would be cool if it was one where they had to do a lot of makeup or make me look completely different. So only true fans of the show/movie would know who I am 😉

  56. I used to want to be a nurse, but I like my sleep and being able to control my schedule. I still even 42 have no idea what I want to do with my life.

  57. Totally relate to this so much! Life can be very unexpected at times. I think we are all figuring out. <3 <3 <3 Thank for you for making this!

  58. Do not worry I would argue this is one of the most relatable posts I have ever seen on the internet! Especially with the acting. I thought I wanted to be an actor and that it would be easy but I really think it was the want for relevancy and the fear that I wouldn't be noticed by people (I know, it's a ridiculous fear). I had other reasons for joining my acting class (I needed more confidence and I did love them) but it was only after I joined that I realised it wasn't so easy and a year later realised this was not what I wanted to do and now I really have no idea.

  59. I'm exactly the same! I'm about to go into university for computer science, and I just keep asking myself "do I really want to do this all my life as a job?" which, when I think about it, is a no because who wants to sit in an office all day? But when I think about anything else I relatively enjoy, the options are reaaaally slim…

  60. If i ever become filthy rich and decide to waste my money on a movie I'll consider you for starring. You are so charismatic… Not sure what genre should the movie be though…

  61. i went into college wanting to direct movies and left wanting to be a screenwriter and now im just like what??? i think i am more discouraged cuz finding a job in film is a pain in the butt. i still love filmmaking and writing but i have so much going on and you really have to put all your energy in that. sadly you have to make money in this world and i wish i could make money doing what i love but thatll take like 10 years and no one gets that. they all think i should have a job right now like people who are doctors and teachers. People need art too idk why people hate on art people so much.

  62. I wanted to work on films then I realized everyone is Hollywood is egotistical and I can't deal with idiot stuck up people so I think Ill just write and not deal with drama queens haha

  63. Fantastic rambling video.
    Two thumbs up.
    You should get a drum set, I have a feeling you're a super drummer

  64. I totally relate. I wanted to be an actor but I only really liked the process of acting, learning the character, rehearsals, but not much else haha. I also have a bunch of "songs" I can't put music to.

  65. To be honest….I don't think that anyone really ever reaches their "dreams". Yes, I typed that. I honestly don't think that dreams ever do come true. Let me explain that so that I don't sound so negative because I honestly don't mean to be that way.

    What I mean is: "Life Happens". Life does change all the time,sometimes for the good & sometimes for the worse but it does and will change. Even pursuing your dreams is causing a change. So, I don't think that people really do "reach their dream"…..or at least reach it like you think it should or shouldn't be.

    How you handle situations in your life determines what will or wont happen, and sometimes that means coming to the conclusion that your "dream" isn't really what should be.

    I'm sorry to sound like a downer with this, but it's just the way that I see things.

  66. I just stumbled upon this video, at the time I feel like I've really needed it most. I love books and I love video games. I have 'created' two personalities of myself. One involves books (JenniBookish) and the other involves video games (JenniPixels). I have separate youtubes, instagrams, twitters, tumblrs etc. But right now, I don't really know who I want to be. Sometimes I think that I want to do BookTube and be an author simply because getting started on BookTube is easier (being an author isn't the easy part) and a bit cheaper than getting started in the gaming community. But then there's the other side… the gaming side. I play video games with people who plan to get super into the gaming industry, and they want me to be a big part of it as well. I feel like I'm constantly at a loss, and I just don't know how to fix it. But this video has helped me a lot.

  67. I did the exACT (lel) same thing with acting. I wanted it for the same reasons, then a psychic told me I'll have success behind the camera and I was like 'holy fuck, I love directing?? I'm actually pretty good at it???' so yeah I still like acting but it's not what I want to do anymore. and when I realised this I hardcore sob-cried for about an hour. I still love and want people to think I'm funny and pretty though… so …that's … gr8. ANYWAyS I'm doing a film course now so I'm on the road to a happy ending 😀

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