I Hate Myself | Spoken Word Poetry

I hate myself. I hate my face my body the environment that I’m in I’m filled with so much hate I don’t even know what to do with it. [I] see pictures and magazines and when I look back at myself [I] no longer like what I see. See, They don’t show you the stretch marks split ends of gap teeth They don’t represent people like you and me the irony [that] were forced down messages such as be yourself by celebrities when they know full wel that they’re partially to blame for all our insecurities since day one we’ve been told to say this and do that and if I wear this [then] a guy might just like me. running [my] confidence to the ground [I] Can’t even hold a conversation without saying the word story like 15 gazillion times to say that I’m apologizing just being me Some days. I stay up awake at night, and the silence is so loud it overwhelms me. [I] can’t sleep or eat Filled with so much negativity til negativity became me, but I lie and carry on smiling because that’s a person I want to be so happy joyful and carefree. People say just be confident They don’t understand that you get tired you get weak [I] just need you to understand that I’m filled with self hate and it consumes me because I wasn’t told to be proud of myself and Love who I am no, I was told there was expectations and limitations and fought for every can’t to be a can So filled with hate I suffocate This is my fate I tell myself as I tried to make myself up It’s too late. I don’t want compliments or attention from Passers-by. [I] crave real love not likes from a social networking website And then you start to create this [up] image that is so perfect and flawless and happy because you think that that’s what’s right wrong So you can’t fill a void with lies you can’t solve pain with short highs so you resort to late-night cries, and you wonder why sigh, but the longest time I [will] blame my environment the media my peers, and I took me years to see that it’s not you It’s me If I want to change how I feel I have [to] start from within look into my [soul] What’s beneath the skin because the solution is an external? Don’t you see you can’t solve your problems with what you see on your phone screen the answer comes from who you are deep inside All those thoughts and feelings [you] tried, so desperately to hide I am capable so much more And I don’t need to hear that from you because I know it for me See when you open your mind you start to see things clearly your ambitions your potentials your dreams. You become [free] So for the first time in a long time, I’m just gonna let myself breathe today I chose me

100 Replies to “I Hate Myself | Spoken Word Poetry

  1. So that was just a poem
    Goddamned I feel like shit today.
    Feeling like shit brought me here.
    Everyday is brutal.
    Alls I am too the world is worth minimum wage.
    Looking on you tube for answers is not too helpful either.
    Called the suicide hotline the other day and they hung up on me.
    I proceeded to call back ove and over just because I felt so offended.
    There's not a lot of hope or reason to carry on in my life.
    Everytime I go out I get hurt.
    I feel like I'm becoming evil inside from it all.
    My want to be a part of the world is becoming a want to hurt it. Hurt it back if you will.
    I know this is an old video but fukit
    Thats my comment

  2. I need help. My family doesn't like the thought of me being checked by a professional therapist/psychiatrist, they aren't open minded about depression and anxiety. They would say I'm just being dramatic and exaggerating. I would like to consult one because I don't trust my surroundings and I know how I feel, it's different from being normal and I become violent to myself whenever I don't feel okay. I searched online but it needs money and I can't afford any of it. I wanted it to keep it a secret to my family just in case I found one, I don't want to make them look at me more worse than I already am.. I want to be over depression, but I can't seem to help myself. The way I feel is like, the more I help my own self, the more I drown into darkness.

  3. I know it's not the point of the video, but I just wanted to tell you that you're very pretty to me.

  4. Today my closest friend repeatedly called me ugly and laughed at my face . I’m crying and this helped me a little bit I don’t think I’m all ok tho

  5. I smile like an idiot the whole day and laugh a lot but no one knows how much I cry too and no one knows that this smile this laugh is all fake all taped up on my face and I have to take it out every time I’m alone so I can let the real feelings out and then I cry like an idiot bc I’m an idiot that whatever I do will be like an idiot and I’m an idiot bc I’m ugly and I’m ugly bc I’m fat and I’m empty and the only emotion that I have shown that is real is crying

  6. Don’t listen to people who try to shut u down take a deep breath just be you ur pretty,amazing and DO NOT LET URSELF DOWN ur not alone

  7. I jut hate my life. I want to run away from the world. I watch all these videos to make myself believe it, but I never ever will. I’m useless. I’m not worth it. I wish I was never born.

  8. i did chose myself, gave one week of rest from any stress. But where did it put me? removed from 3 group chats, hated by almost half of the class, and attempted to kill myself. lmao what's good?

  9. So uhm… No ones really going to see this. But I want to share it publicly; anonymously.
    I hate myself.
    So, damn much.

    I always remember the days I was happy, the times where nothing really mattered. I remember when I smiled truthfully, and the days I was excited to wake up and live another day.
    I remember when my look weren't important.

    But something changed in me.
    when I gazed in the mirror, nothing was right.
    I couldn't see anything anymore.

    I'm a useless person who does nothing good for no one. I make everyone's day worse, I can never seem to make them happy. I'm no one to everyone and I'm really just another breathing thing.
    I really want to…

    I want to go away.
    I want to be a better person.
    but for some reason, I can't.
    I really want to just curl up in a ball and cry but I'm at that point where I can't even cry anymore. I just want to be left alone, and at the same time, be comforted and helped.
    I don't want to seem weak so I don't tell anyone anything.

    I just live.
    I hide everything.
    And maybe… there is hope.
    So that's why I decide to keep living.
    Because I'm trying hard to believe there really is hope in this world.

  10. All my school friends don't know how much I hate my self and it's like I wear a happy mask in front of them. When I get home I isolate myself in my room painting for three hours at a time then have dinner as quick as I can , come up to bed and don't get to sleep until half three to four in the morning and then I cry myself to sleep dreading the next day.

  11. Im a roofer I go to work and get walked on everyday a new employee comes in and after 5 years and watching new guys come and go and some stay but what I seen was them getting treated better doing the work I shpuld be soing by now instead I'm still the laborer who knows more but I am a nervous person who lets people take shit from me and belittle me til i walk away feeling like a failure my best well use to be beatfriend is my boss foreman who goes above and beyond to bash me never helped hold me up well when i did labor he said I was one of the best employees they ever had guess he didnt want to see me excell enough to be someone more important f my life and my brother who mooches hundreds of dollars a month for years for smokes and beer while I have my own addictions draining me I support his why you ask threats black male or he will harrass my mom til she gives in. The threats aint no little threata and hes capable. My old bestfriend is getting divorced leaving his daughter to live with her boyfriend at 17 to move a hour away with the big bossesbdaughter and remarry start a new life and its so easy to see I'm not part of it. Just went to his grandmothers funeral friend of there family you know how much him and I talked little 5 min intervals is all I get now friends since teens in are mid late 30s and imdropped. Asked me to be best man in his wedding yet he dont want to talk about it now cause he didnt mean it when he asked me matter of fact I'm not cool enough I dont fit in I'm a 👻

  12. This is so me. Pretending I'm happy, always trying to help others and keep them happy when actually I feel empty on the inside and I can't even help myself.

  13. I can love your imperfections, I can love others imperfections, I can’t love mine, I hate myself, I underly loath myself, it’s sad that I can’t forgive myself but easily forgive others, I love your eyes clickfortaz, I love how dorky you are, I used to be like that, or maybe I had a real good mask on. Please keep your videos coming,,, the more fun, silly the better! You help me smile when I want to cry or even hurt myself,,, no pressure I am responsible for my own path, much love Stephen ❤️❤️ you rock

  14. This perfectly describes me I have to fake smile just to make people think I'm happy when I'm really not…

  15. The only thing I don’t relate to is not being able to eat😂😂
    Edit: But seriously though why do all people stop eating when they have problems and I just eat double lol

  16. I used to be happy

    Than I became sad

    But I wanted to be happy again

    But I just couldn't be happy

    Now I like this feeling

    I like the pain

    Now I want nothing

    I'm nothing ……

    Thanks for reading

  17. taz u r so amazing and such a role model to people that aren't privileged and that being who you are isn't bad if you choose for it not to be i hope you see this comment and remind your self how inspirational you are to many humans in this world as your actions inspire us i thought you could use this quote to inspire you if you ever feel down If your action inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more.

  18. I feel this so much. Like my whole life I was told do this do that wear this wear that think this think that. And the saddest thing is that I did because I thought that then I would be happy and loved. But now I’m constantly hurt because other people don’t think before they spit out a nasty comment. They say it’s just a joke but too me it’s much more.

  19. I feel the same way I always smile but I hate myself. One time my "friend" told me that I didn't look good in a ponytail and I thought about it and I realised that she was right. I don't look good altogether. I hate me inside and out.

    Rant over

  20. I love you don’t worry don’t hate your self your beautiful amazing and so loveable if you look carefully in the mirrors and all you will see is what we see

  21. I did not know you made these kind of videos. I only watched your 24 hour challenges and other funny stuff. And watching you say this is kinda overwhelming. I really do relate…..

  22. Taz I hope ur okay, I know there has been some shit that you have had to face. I used to have depression like full on I would go to bed every night and reach for the scissors I am not lying I still have scars. I’m hoping you don’t get to that because you have been so strong and so great with this so called “other you” we all have to put on in time s like this. I honestly love you I am not being cliche or trying to get attention I know you don’t like the pressure of this name but you are a role model. Now me saying that doesn’t mean you have to change urself because note that I said YOU ARE not you are going to be. I love you taz🥰

  23. I am so drowned with self hatred i cry i night and today i almost grabbed my dads knife and started cutting

  24. Don't be sad please .you should love your life the way it is because because life is just a test if your good and religious your life after death will be in heaven but if you are mean and not religious your life after death will be in hell. Like if it's true. Because you should be you

  25. "So filled with hate I suffocate" I'm actually crying. This all hit me deep because I feel exactly like this

  26. "for the first time in a long time I'm just going to let myself breathe. Today I choose me" you have no idea how much I really needed to hear that.

  27. 'IM NOT TOLD TO LOVE WHO I'AM I was told there were expectations: C and limitations' only teenagers who are given a high expectation:C

  28. Do you think positive yourself I like the way your face looks without make up❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  29. I hate myself too, everyone told me my voice is bad and creepy , I’m fat , I’m stupid, I’m ugly , but I hope someday I’ll love myself

  30. I love your poems Taz, but I really don't understand how you think your ugly when you're maybe one of the prettiest girls on the face of the earth.

    I get all the other issues you deal with, but your perfectly okay in the looks department.

  31. I hate myself so much I don’t even believe i deserve to love myself. I just wish I could be me not worry about what I say and do all the time. And not just hide away on the internet anymore. Because that’s all I do I just suck myself into my phone screen so i don’t have to hear my thoughts screaming at me

  32. No one ever realises that this me
    A few days I was just talking with my cousin and she is like my best friend so I finally I told her that I suffer from depression and she thought I was joking I couldn't believe my ears
    "I know your just having a laugh" I was just so sad
    People need to understand depression isn't a joke

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