Build your Confidence AND Competence


– Today I have three brilliant tips that will build your confidence, but perhaps surprisingly, only by focusing on your competence. So stick with me and I
promise that it’s lot easier than just continuing to try
to fake it ’til you make it. Stay to the end and I’m
happy to share with you another book recommendation, particularly, I think for
parents, or anyone who wants to stretch their boundaries. But let’s focus on your
competence versus confidence first ’cause that’s why we’re here. So before we click off,
subscribe to our channel if you want our weekly videos that are gonna help improve
your career progression. And don’t forget to click
the bell so you never miss one of our videos. I’m Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris,
founder of Inclusiq. Now, as a consultant and
author of my own books about career progression, I have talked with literally
thousands of professionals, particularly women, but
over the last 15 years. I have crowd-sourced the best tips on how to improve your self-confidence. But today, and now with this latest book, I am tackling the battle between
competence and confidence. So let’s get started. Here are my three tips
to build your confidence, but solely by your competence. Now, let’s start at the basics. Let’s focus on what you
are already really good at. Now, none of us are perfect (laughs), but there will be skills and competencies on which you have received compliments. Start there if you are
feeling at a bit of a loss as to how to think about your skills and what you’re really good at. And then that’s when you start to identify what it’s going to take to
get better at those skills. And one of my STEM clients was
a woman I’m gonna call Renee and Renee worked in pharmaceuticals and she’d initially been
dismayed and a bit pessimistic in one of our sessions when she told me she had
been given a big project where she was gonna have to manage a multi-million-pound
purchase and installation of this massive microscope. Now, the thing was so big the company actually had to
construct a separate building just to house it. So pretty big stuff. Now, her boss who was a natural optimist knew that he actually needed
a skeptical pair of eyes on this potential project. Now, this method, the
feedback that he and others had been giving Renee for years
about her sense of caution, her eyes-wide-open approach
and even her skepticism. Well, they were real assets to this boss and certainly to this project. He knew that if he naturally plowed in with all his gung ho-ness into
what was gonna be a tricky and costly project, potentially
without kicking the tires of his latest great idea,
he could be in trouble. However, when we looked at why Renee had been given that role, we saw that it was actually
more of a compliment from her boss about her pessimistic style, ’cause it had always kept her team safe, projects delivered on time, and it led to
well-thought-through decisions for the company. So this was a groundbreaking project, both figuratively and literally
now I’m thinking about it, for both the company’s investors,
but also reputationally. By investing in this microscope, they would be getting ahead of the market on a pretty new technology. Now, her boss had noticed
all of these competencies in Renee in years before and he chose to reward here,
but with a project that, let’s be honest, she
didn’t initially want. But here’s the thing, remember
not all the greatest gifts will come wrapped with
a pretty bow (laughs). The more she thought about this, the greater her sense that she was getting a vote of confidence and this in turn grew
her confidence over time. She started being asked
to more senior meetings, asked to work with more suppliers, and she was asked to
scope out the likely cost of buying this equipment. And even if they could make an income, from renting time on it
to other early adopters, that was all a part of the
business plan that she, let’s be honest, didn’t
actually wanna ride initially. It had its challenges, but her caution and the time she took paid off. And Renee was given a promotion that year, something as her coach, I
know she’d been waiting for, for a long time. Now, part of Renee’s success was in building up her confidence from bulking up her growth mindset. Now, clearly Renee had
never managed such a large and very visible project on
a scale that time way before, but she’d been demonstrating for years that she could manage via her competence. Simply put, with big projects, you need to approach it
as a learning journey ’cause it’s gonna be something
on which you’re gonna make a few mistakes, but that you can manage. Even if it means a bit of trial and error, but also asking for a lot
of feedback from others. Now, the tip for you in this is to think about a skill of yours that was initially pretty difficult, but which you improved in over time through hard work and
relying on your competence, rather than just your
overflowing confidence (laughs). That growth mindset is gonna
help increase your competence, which in turn will boost
your confidence (laughs). If you’ve been in a
Renee-type situation before, give me a thumbs up or a
comment in the section below. All right, and so my book recommendation is perhaps not surprisingly
a big shout out for Carol Dweck’s book,
The Growth Mindset. Now, as Renee found, your competencies are completely malleable if you take this approach, realizing that this is where
confidence actually comes from. Now, by comparison, if you
think of your intelligence or even your confidence as a set point, or something you probably
can’t do much to affect, you’re gonna be stuck where
you are now forever (laughs). While, my own books focus on
getting ahead in your career. Dweck’s book also made me think about the children in my
life a little bit differently because her book is a great reminder that telling a child that you love that they are a hard-worker or that they did just a
great try on something is ultimately so much better for them than telling them they are smart. You can always work harder, but
intelligence, by comparison, can feel a bit finite. But if you’re building a career, then The Con Job is actually for you because we’re in a society where we rate confidence too highly. And that means competent
people risk being overtaken by the overconfident, if
less skilled, colleagues that they’ve got all around them. So if you wanna stand up to the status quo and help me put an end to the
way we overvalue confidence, then click the link below in order to take a look at the book and you can follow all of the activity around the book launch by following #morecompetence
on Twitter and Instagram. Now, please share it with your
friends and colleagues too because it is the only way
that we’re going to make a big impact into this huge problem. And subscribe to my channel
so that you’re the first to see the rest of the
videos in this series as they are released. And if you’ve enjoyed this video, it would mean a lot to me
if you liked it, commented, and share it with your own socials. And in the meantime, please
subscribe to my channel too ’cause you’ll be the first then to see all the rest of
the videos in our series on competence versus confidence. Thanks for watching and check out the videos we
already got on that playlist because there’s tons more on this topic if it resonates with you.

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