5 Nastiest Sex Scenes in Classic Literature

What’s good y’all? This yo boy Doc Sweets
and here are the 5 nastiest scenes in classic lit 5) The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer In The Miller’s Tale we learn that playas
been tossing salads long before Ranch dressing was the white sauce of choice. See, homie
Absalon trying to holla at this married dame Alisoun, but she ain’t feelin it. He stands
outside her window at night, begging to get a little touch-tongues action. “Dark was
the night like to pitch or coal, And at the window out she put her hole…” Yeah, she
did. Anyway, “And Absalon, had better nor worse than this, That with his mouth her naked
arse he kissed.” So basically Alisoun tricked Absalon into
eating booty. And Absalon got all up in there. Chaucer says,
“Before he was aware, had savoured it.” Meaning Brotha was INTO it. “Back he started … For
well he knew a woman has no beard.” DAMNNNN. Absalon found pubes on his tongue and realized
he had accidentally been down… on the brown. 4) Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert Gold digger Emma is trying to get some loving
on the DL from sugar daddy Rodolphe. Emma’s dress gets all tangled, so she carpe diem’s that shiz and She whips out her oddly pale
nipples and titties. “Hiding her face, with a long tremor she gave herself up to him.”
Girl didn’t want the ugly face some ladies get during sex, BROTHAS, YOU KNOW THE FACE,
so she looked away before he slid in to home home base. she heard a vague, prolonged cry, and she listened to it in silence as it lost itself like a kind of
music in the last vibrations of her tingling nerves.” Brutha didn’t even have to ask
if she faked it. Respect. 3) Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller Miller tells his life story of words and veiny swords in Tropic remembering
fondly one trick in particular from the hood. “There was something about her eloquence at
that moment and the way she thrust that rose­bush under my nose which remains unforgettable…”
Basically he dug hard the way she sat on his face. it was no longer just her private organ, but a treasure, a magic, potent treasure, a God-given
thing Homie Miller here is saying that even though that girl was a prostitute,
dat ooo-wee was still more than ‘aight. It might has well have been wearing a tiara. 2) Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift So this dude Gulliver is off on some sailing adventure and ends up trapped in a land of
tall-ass giants. The giant hotties make Gulliver into their sex toyplaything. Totally every
shorty’s fantasy. They
would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms.” Bosom is old school for titties. So really
these giant bitches biddies were ripping off Gulliver’s clothes and rubbing hi, s tiny
penis wang against their boobies. His junk must have been like a thimble to them Yo, if I was him, hell, I would have tried to hum when they slide me inside
me around. Naw mean? 1) Moby-Dick by Herman Melville. First off, playa used “dick” in the title
so you know that sh**’s legit. After homie Ishmael catchcatches a Sperm Whale they have
to get the sperm outta the whale’s body to make into wax. “ Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze!
All the morning long” So Ishmael is basically spankin dis whale’s monkey try to get its
sperm off. “I squeezed the sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and
I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers’ hands in it, mistaking their hands for the
gentle globules.” So Ishmael squeezes his coworkers’ hands on accident, but then decides
to just go with it. “Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did
this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into
their eyes sentimentally… Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves
into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of
kindness.” Now some scholarly gangstas argue that this handholding scene is a metaphor,
and what Melville really means is that Ismael starts to squeeze his own Moby dick and the dudes’ working next to him.If that’s the case, then what we have here, ladies and
gentlemen, is a classic circle jerk over a dead sperm whale’s body. Happens all the
time. Call you, Ishmael, indeed, you whale dick pimp. Well that’s the top 5 Nastiest Sex scenes
in literature. If you wanna be in the know bout more smart sh**, be sure to hit dat subscribe
button, padna.

100 Replies to “5 Nastiest Sex Scenes in Classic Literature

  1. WOW!! I read Moby Dick when I was around 10 years old… suddenly the innocence in my childhood feels very lost!

  2. I'm not 100% sure, but I think Moby Dick was the first piece of classic literature to openly portray homosexuality. That's pretty revolutionary when you think about it.

  3. I'm not sure if it's as nasty, but how about the orgy in Perfume? That's the only orgy I know in literature, so far.

  4. The "sperm" of a sperm whale is the oil in the head (not actually sperm, although at the time people thought it was). They are not playing with the whale´s genitals. Otherwise the interpretation here is likely correct.

  5. I love how the sperm scene was classic! ROFLMAO! I did a presentation in my Am Lit class on homoeroticism in Melville's novels, and my prof. blushed a red streak.

  6. Spermaceti is a waxy substance in a Sperm Whale's head–it was what they were hunted for. That said, there is definitely homoeroticism in Melville's work. Goddamn, that dude was ahead of his time. He wrote the first modernist novel 50 years before modernism was a thing, for crying out loud.

  7. Been a LONG time since I read Moby Dick, but number one is wrong either on the part of Melville or Thugnotes, I'm not sure which. Spermaceti is not actually sperm, but instead a semen-like substance found in the head of the whale that is designed to keep the big boy afloat.

  8. Ddaaaaaaaamm, that is some of the sickest stuff I passed right over when reading these books. I will never read Moby's Dick without a shudder engendered in my own loins.

  9. What about the Decameron? (Especially [Day 3, Story 10] and [Day 7, Story 9]). Those are naaaasty, definitely worse than Chaucer. XD

  10. The "sperm" from the sperm whale is actually from the melon on their head. Which is filled with a milky white fluid, which is just a kind of fat. That's why a sorry whale is called a sperm whale, people thought the stuff their head looked like jizz

  11. The main character in Beach Music gets a lavishly described BJ in Venice.
    It's not classic lit but it's a really good with a random as hell sex scene.

  12. No "Romance Of Lust", the Victorian era sex scorcher? Or "The Autobiography Of A Flea"? "The Story Of O"? Tsk, tsk, tsk….do your homework, Wisecrack.

  13. Bro, I saw the title and I hoped to God that it would be the thug notes dude that would present this to us😂 I cheered when you came on the screen! 😂😂😂😂🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

  14. Seems like Golding may have been alluding to Melville in the pig-hunting scene, which is also highly sexualized. Both these authors are connecting male libido and violence.

  15. Isn't 'sperm' in sperm whales the gooey white stuff found in the front of their heads? I mean their real heads, not the … Eh…

  16. the "sperm" in a sperm whale is actually in a sack in the head of the whale, you know how how they have those blocky heads? that shape is due to the "spem" which is a white grease that helps the whale control it's bouyancey, not semen. so in that last one i don't know about everyone having a jerk around the whale, but they wouldn't be jerking the whale….. the whale would however have it's penis exposed as the organ would be pushed out by the weight of the whale pushing down on itself

  17. There's a book I read somewhere in which the author says that everything in a story is always about sex, unless it's the actual act of sex. Just a thought for you guys 🙂

  18. Here's a list: sex scenes in old literature you didn't know where sex scenes… Like in the begging of Romeo and Juliet where the guards where talking of putting the women "to the wall"

  19. Dick, a whole lot of squeezing and sperm…. this in a classic literature? You learn something new every day. Thanks Wisecrack! 🙂

  20. Human orgy masturbation metaphor aside, I just wanted to point out that they don't "want to get the sperm out of the whale body out". The whale had been hacked, cut into little pieces and brought on deck. The "sperm" they are trying to get has "cooled and crystallized". What Melville is referring here is spermaceti, or "a waxy substance found in the HEAD cavities of the sperm whale". So, for fuck sake they are not jerking off a dead whale, mkay?

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